Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash
For over five years, I’ve worked within my local library system — a space built for learning, access, and community care.
And in those years, I’ve learned something deeply unsettling:
Libraries are public institutions.
But women’s bodies inside them are treated like public property.
A Feminized Profession, A Sexualized Workplace
Libraries are statistically dominated by women. Historically and presently, librarianship is considered “care work” — an extension of nurturing, teaching, emotional labor, and service.
And in patriarchy, feminized labor is rarely respected.
When a field is seen as:
• service-oriented
• publicly funded
• female-led
it becomes socially acceptable to dehumanize the workers inside it.
We’re not seen as professionals.
We’re seen as accessible.
“Public Servant” Doesn’t Mean Publicly Available
Our salaries are paid through tax dollars — and some men take that to mean entitlement.
Entitlement to our time.
Entitlement to our emotional labor.
Entitlement to our bodies.
This shows up as:
• inappropriate comments about appearance
• sexual “jokes”
• lingering stares
• following staff through aisles
• heavy breathing
• asking to hang out after work
• stalking patterns
• calling repeatedly just to talk to a woman
Men know when they call a library, a woman is likely to answer.
So they stretch simple questions into long conversations.
Not for information — for access.
Harassment Disguised as Help
Some come in asking for:
• computer assistance
• research help
• book recommendations
But what they’re really doing is positioning themselves near women — prolonging interaction under the safety of “needing help.”
Others lurk in the children’s section.
Some attempt conversations with kids.
Some watch staff more than screens.
Libraries are meant to be safe spaces.
Yet women working inside them often aren’t safe at all.
When You Can’t Say What You Mean
In most workplaces, professionalism becomes a muzzle.
When men are inappropriate, we’re expected to respond with:
“Please don’t say that.”
“That’s not appropriate.”
“Let’s keep it professional.”
When what we really mean is:
Leave me alone. Stop objectifying me. You’re making me uncomfortable.
But women are trained to soften everything — even fear.
Anger is seen as unprofessional.
Discomfort is treated as overreaction.
Silence becomes survival.
My War Stories (And Every Librarian Has Them)
I’ve had men:
• follow me aisle to aisle while breathing heavily
• berate me when I set boundaries
• comment on my body like I was a product
One man told me I had “the bone structure of a model” —
if only I worked out.
Then begged me to train with him outside of work so I could become “the next Miss America.”
He had nicknames for every woman in the library based on our looks and personalities.
All the men?
He called them by their names.
That’s not coincidence.
That’s objectification.
Why Libraries Become Hunting Grounds
Because they combine:
✔ feminized labor
✔ forced politeness
✔ public accessibility
✔ power imbalance
✔ minimal consequences
Men know we can’t snap back.
They know we’re expected to be kind.
They know the environment protects them more than us.
It’s the same reason harassment thrives in retail, service, teaching, healthcare, and hospitality.
Anywhere women are paid to be helpful becomes a site of exploitation.
This Isn’t About Individual Creeps — It’s Structural
This behavior isn’t random.
It’s produced by a system that teaches men:
• women owe emotional labor
• public space gives access to women
• service workers must tolerate discomfort
• boundaries are negotiable
• politeness equals permission
Patriarchy trains entitlement.
Libraries just become one of its stages.
Feminist Truth: Care Work Is Not Consent
Being kind is not flirting.
Helping is not inviting.
Existing is not availability.
Women working in public institutions deserve safety — not silent endurance.
What Needs to Change
Real solutions look like:
• stronger harassment policies
• banning repeat offenders
• staff backed when setting boundaries
• safety training
• public accountability
• cultural shifts that stop normalizing “harmless” comments
But most importantly:
Believing women when we say it’s happening.
The Bigger Picture
Men sexualizing librarians isn’t about attraction.
It’s about power.
About access.
About control.
About entitlement to women in spaces where women can’t easily escape.
And until society stops treating feminized labor as open territory, this will continue.
Quiet buildings don’t mean quiet harm.
Sometimes the softest spaces hide the loudest patterns of misogyny.
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